All descriptions of rituals are purposely omitted so as to preserve the sanctity of ceremony. Please respect the author and ask for permission to reprint any material on this site by contacting the webmaster below. Thank-you.

INTRODUCTION

All of the information (other than my personal narratives) has been gathered from the internet and books listed in the bibliography.

Mar 2              Group Meeting
Mar 15            Sweat Lodge
Apr 20             Sweat Lodge
Apr 27             Group Meeting
May 2              Sweat Lodge
May 25            Group Meeting
Jun 1               Sweat Lodge
Jun 13 - 27      Make Prayer Ties
Jun 28             Cut Willows
Jul 6                Sweat Lodge & Meeting
Jul 4 - 6           Make Willow Poles and Prayer Stick
Jul 13 – 20       Vision Quest                          

Committing in March gave me 4½ months to prepare for quest. Preparation included the following activities:

To prepare for quest, one must cleanse the body and mind by going to a sweat lodge. The sweat lodge ceremony (inipi, initipi, or inikagapi) is a sacred purification ceremony. It is performed inside a lodge made of bent willows covered with blankets and heated with stones placed in the center. The lodge represents the womb of the Earth Mother. All behavior surrounding the lodge is conducted in a sacred way. The ceremony may only be led or performed by those who have been trained in how to pour a sweat. 

The standard sweat lodge is constructed in the following manner: 16 willow saplings, approximately 1” in diameter at the butt end, are peeled and imbedded in the ground in a circle approximately 6 to 9’ in diameter. The saplings are then bent over and tied with rawhide thongs to form a dome structure, approximately 4’ high at the center. The saplings are arranged so that there are 4 on each side of the lodge, with an entrance on the east. The saplings are covered with blankets and tarps so that when the door is finally closed no light will be admitted into the lodge. The hole approximately 2’ in diameter and 2’ feet deep is carved out in the center into which hot stones will be placed. The earth which is removed is used to form a sacred path approximately 8 paces from the entrance. At the eastern end of the path the ground is cleared for the fireplace. One man, the fire tender, lights it and maintains it. As the ceremony begins, he hands in the rocks through the entrance.

Participants always move clockwise when entering and exiting the lodge. As you enter you say the prayer “Mitakuye Oyasin”. Once the door is sealed the leader or pourer sprinkles a ladle of water on the hot stones. Prayers and songs are recited during each round. There are usually four rounds and the total process lasts about 3 hours. If prayer ties were prepared for the sweat, they are hung from the willow frame during the sweat and then burnt in the fire after the last round.

Attending sweat lodge is the most difficult part of my preparation process. The anxiety of the unknown makes my first sweat the most intense. My greatest fear is losing face if I have a panic attack in the lodge.

The sweat begins to trickle even before all the first set of rocks are delivered from the fire glowing red. As each rock is brought in, it is brushed with cedar and sweetgrass. The glowing sparks pop like little sparkling stars doing a brief dance of fireworks to welcome the rock, who is called “Grandfather” or “Grandmother” (depends on who is leading the lodge). The burning of the herbs gives a sweet scent to the dank air. Once the door is closed and the first ladle of water is poured over the rocks, sweat pops out of my skin like Jiffy popcorn on a hot stove. Soon the sweat is rolling off my body to mix with the dirt floor, creating a nice little mud bath. The lodge has become a hot damp womb. I can feel the dragon’s breath directly on me!

I quickly abandon my spirituality trading it in for survival mode. Sweat lodge is plugging me into all my greatest fears: I am sitting in complete darkness, cramped in a small space, with dozens of sweating strangers, trapped with no escape, and have no control over the thermostat. The more water that is poured over the rocks, the hotter the humidity in the lodge. It settles on my face and sears my lungs like raw tuna in a hot skillet. My skin is sobbing, this is suppose to be good medicine.

Luckily when we started this sweat at 9 in the morning it was in the 40s. I inch a hand under the lodge covering to touch the outside air. Now my entire body except one freezing hand is on fire. I marvel at the contrast. At the end of the first round, when the door flap is opened, eerie steam rises off the skin of all the participants like smoky auras. During the subsequent rounds everyone has a chance to say their prayers aloud. Some are short and concise but others go on like a long academy award acceptance speech. I have my own unsacred prayer, “please hurry up so we can open the door!” Hmmmm, I admonish my inner child, not being very spiritual-minded, are we? The rest of the day my face is quite pink and fells like a baked lobster.

One must offer a gift that will delight the higher spirits in order to gain their attention and blessings. Usually the more work and effort put into an offering the more inclined the spirits are to bless the request put to them. This requires more focus upon the intent of the prayer by its creator, hence giving it more energy.

Prayer ties are the oldest and simplest way to pray using tobacco. They are made by using pieces of cloth that are approximately 2 to 4 square inches. Each color represents a direction. Start with the East (yellow), then South (red), West (black), North (white), Above (blue), Below (green) and Center (purple). The prayer energy is offered into the tobacco by holding the tobacco in your left hand lifting it to your heart and saying your prayer. Then the tobacco is placed in the center of the cloth. The 4 corners are drawn up forming a small pouch which is tied to a string by using a clove hitch (2 half hitches). When completed, smudge the prayer ties. Usually prayer ties are released into the universe through burning. This releases the prayers in the smoke and allows them to be carried to Grandfather, Grandmother, Great Spirit.

A pile of prayer ties - close up view

808 Prayer Ties rolled and ready for transport

I make 808 prayer ties on one continuous string, 101 for each of the 7 directions (East, South, West, North, Above, Below, Center) and 101 for parallel universes. These prayer ties will be hung on willow poles and surround my site during my quest. After the quest they will be burned in the fire after sweat lodge.

I lovingly call my prayer ties “little ghosties going to heaven” because they look like colorful Caspers hanging on a line and eventually they will end up in heaven. During this process, I clearly identify four stages of prayer tie preparation:

1.  Procrastination – I have 4 whole months to go.
2.  Panic – I only have a couple weeks to go. I better get started.
3.  Determination – I will get all these ties done in time.
4.  Serenity – I have completed all my prayer ties.

In my panic and determination stage, I was banging out 100-200 ties an evening. I had blisters on both hands from pulling the clove hitches tight. Like saying a silent wish when you blow out your birthday candles, I believe it is bad luck to share my specific prayers. However, I will share what my general theme and totem animal for each direction is:

1 East - Yellow – Air: New Beginnings, Rebirth, Prosperity, Longevity
2 South - Red – Fire: Motivation, Creativity, Growth
3 West - Black - Water: Healing, Transformation, Introspection
4 North - White – Earth: Wisdom, Spirit, Strength, Clear Vision
5 Above - Blue: Father Sky, Masculine Energy, Spiritual Healing
6 Below - Green: Mother Earth, Feminine Energy, Physical Healing
7 Center - Purple: Balance, Harmony, Self, Mental Healing
8 Parallel Universe – Orange: Soul Mate, Twin Flame

Of course, as the time gets closer to leave for Mt. Shasta, I begin wondering if it is too late to change my prayers to the following more frantic themes:

Please don’t let me be afraid of the dark.
Please don’t let me starve to death.
Please don’t let me bore myself to death.
Please don’t let it rain.
Please don’t let me be struck by summer lightening.
Please don’t let me pass out from the heat frustration during sweat lodge.
Please don’t let it be 100 degrees in the sun.
Please don’t let me freeze at night or snow on my sleeping bag.
Please don’t let me be bitten by a snake or a spider.
Please don’t let me be eaten by a bear or a cougar.
Please don’t let the mosquitoes suck me dry or the bees zap me with stingers.
Please don’t let me break out with poison oak.
Please don’t let me be knocked out by a falling tree or rock.
Please don’t let me be abducted by aliens or kidnapped by Lemurians.
Please do let me get a nice figure from all this fasting.

I am feeling like a Survivor contestant. I hope the Spirits don’t vote me out of the square the first night!

Isn’t it ironic? Vision quest is meant to be a spiritual experience, which is usually accessed through the two highest chakras, third eye and crown. Yet I am trying to trigger a spiritual experience by denying the lowest chakras, which deal with basic survival, shelter, and food.

A vision prayer stick (ikupasuy) provides a connection point between you and the Spirit World. It gives you something to focus on. Prayer energy is offered into the creation of prayer sticks by thinking good thoughts, healing thoughts, or thoughts of forgiveness while making it. The prayers are released into the universe as the prayer sticks stands in the ground exposed to nature (air). Feathers, beads, and bells connect with the wind spirits.

My prayer stick and quest poles are made out of willow. When gathering the willows it is customary to do it in a sacred way. First you ask permission of the tree. If the tree agrees you leave an offering. It is customary to leave tobacco or corn meal. In the Celtic culture, it is customary to leave whisky. If none of these are available, use a piece of your hair or your own spit.

Before the willows dry out, they are peeled and sanded. I only cut myself once with the knife while stripping bark off willows. No paramedics were required.

When I am on the mountain, I will choose a site and build a vision square by cleaning the area and placing tobacco, cornmeal, and sage on the ground to bless the area. The square will be approximately 4’ x 6’. One pole will be placed at each of the four directions (East, South, West, North). Then the prayer ties will be hung on the poles beginning in the east and going clockwise. The purpose of the square is to contain the spiritual energy within it.

  
My prayer stick and willow poles

Willow is symbolic of healing, removing aches and pains, flexibility, strength, grace, birth, connections, enchantment, fertility, intuition, knowledge, protection, relationships, and wishes. Willow bark (containing salicin) was once used as an analgesic, particularly in the treatment of arthritic diseases. Willow is known as a tree of enchantment and the witch’s aspirin. The words witchcraft and wicca are both derived from the word willow. The willow was also host to the sacred mistletoe of the Druids.

There are at least 500 species of willow. This tree is usually found growing beside streams and lowland rivers, with a preference for damp and boggy areas. Its leaves are long and slender, covered with silver hairs that give the entire tree a shimmering appearance. Willows can reach 80’ in height and sprout vigorously from stumps. Its flowers are tiny and bear no petals.

On most traditional vision quests there is no eating, no sleeping, and sometimes no drinking. The seeker only takes a blanket and knife into the wilderness.

I spent $600 on new gear. I had to buy a high-tech sleeping bag. My old sleeping bag was 35 years old and as big as a VW bug. Also I bought a therma air mattress for about the cost of a hotel room for a night, and a backpack. Here are the gear rules for the quest days:

Do NOT bring: sun tan lotion, bug repellant, change of clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, food, flashlight, books, any electronic devices [including cell phone (spirits don’t use them), iPods, laptops, DVD players, satellite dishes, or wide screen TVs].

DO bring: drum, rattle, flute, necessary medications, tarp, sleeping bag, blanket, sleeping pad, bandana, some paper & pen, ziploc bags & toilet paper, sage & lighter, personal medicine items (for altar), 2 gallons of water.

At 11 days to departure I begin feeling myself separating from others. The process is playing me now. I am consumed with it and don’t want to have to pay attention to other matters. They say that vision quest is similar to the grieving process. You are preparing to leave your old life, with all its baggage, behind and move into a completely new one. According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the grieving process is accompanied by the following emotions: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I am not sure if I have felt all of these yet but I definitely went through a short period of depression. I am ready to get up there and get this over with. But then I am reminded by everyone else in our quest group that it will never really be over.

Vision quest seems to be a microcosm in which all my greatest fears will be tested at once. There is the fear of living with others in a social situation; the dread of submitting my will to the authority of supporters and group leaders; the anger and frustration of being trapped, cornered, and imprisoned in a 4 x 6’ vision square; the fear of the dark, the fear of wild animals, the boredom from lack of entertainment/stimulation (can’t read, watch movies, listen to music, etc); the fear of having no comforts (after all I am a Taurus and those comforts are vitally important); the fear of hunger, and the suffering of extreme temperatures. If I survive I will be a true peaceful warrior.

When in my life have I ever sat still for 4 days with absolutely nothing to do, with absolutely no distractions? With only myself for company? I am wondering what hidden messages will come up that have been shoved down by day to day busy-ness over the past 56 years.  Since birth we are programmed, advised, and influenced until our true self becomes lost. This quest will give me the opportunity to get acquainted with my true self, the self as it was before socialization. I wonder if I will like this self.

Many questers are much younger and seeking to find their true path out of many choices. As an oldster, I am going to integrate the many paths I have already taken.

I have broken the week into five chunks, each one representing one of the five elements.

Day 1 & 2: Sun & Mon          WATER = EMOTION

I arrive in Mt. Shasta city. The town seems very slow as compared to the Bay Area. 25 MPH is the top speed allowed but 20 MPH seems too fast.

Sunday night I stay at a hotel, my last night with a nice clean bed and hot shower. On the doorstep of my hotel room is a tiny baby feather. I feel it’s an auspicious sign for the beginning of my journey.

Upon arrival at the sight I pitch my tent then start porting rocks, wood, and gear to edge of a mountain stream. This is where the sweat lodge will be built from scratch. This must be what the Zen masters mean by chop wood, carry water. This is really physical work. I am thinking that Vision Quest is code words for Diet Camp. But I am ecstatic to be on the land after such a long absence. I carry my camera to take shots of hundreds of butterflies on my trips back and forth.

Towards dusk I build an altar outside the door of my tent from natural items I have found. I find the fun part of camping is improvising in order to recreate some of the creature comforts of home. The not fun part is the dirt (hard for the cousin of Mr. Monk, like I am, to adjust to).

We go out into the woods with our supporters to pick our Quest sites. I have a hard time finding the right place but finally I find a place that is on a slope framed by a line of trees on one side and fallen tree trunks on the other. I like this square because I think that no one can sneak up there without me hearing them in the deep underbrush or fallen trees. Also I have a good view on the side of the mountain.

Late that night I step out of my tent in the pitch blackness to see what it will look like during the actual quest. The trees look like very tall creepy black monsters against the night sky. O boy. I’ve always admired lone wolves: explorers, mountain men, scouts, etc. This is how they lived. In fact, many people have lived outside for many thousands of years. Why am I so afraid of the out-of-doors at night?

Day 3 & 4: Tue & Wed          FIRE = PASSION

Tuesday we build the sweat lodge. The willows have soaked in the mountain stream over night to make them more pliable for bending. Enough firewood to keep the fire going around the clock from Tuesday to Saturday has been carried in and stacked neatly.

Along with the heat I feel anger rising. I could have been on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean but cancelled it to come on this Quest. Why do I feel the need to test myself yet again? Should I not just enjoy the rest of my life? I am trying to remember why I did sign up for this.

After lodge, we eat our last supper which surprisingly, is very light, just a salad and some pasta. No one wants to gorge before going on quest. The end of lodge also begins the period of silence. No one is to talk until they are up on the mountain in the vision squares.

This is my last night to sleep safely in a tent and I toss and turn all night. I am too nervous to fall into a sound sleep. The fear of the unknown is sitting outside my tent waiting to pounce.

Wednesday morning we wake at 6 am. What clothes we put on will be what we wear through out the quest. Heading toward the sweat lodge I feel like “mountain man walking”.

After lodge, our supporters escort us up to our sites. We must carry everything we are taking ourselves. Symbolically we are leaving everything in the world behind and just taking ourselves to spirit. I take prayer ties and poles, prayer stick, sleeping bag, air mattress, water, drum, rattle, flute, journal and pen, toilet paper, some altar items, and my teddy bear called “Shasta”. I see the Stellar Jays in the trees and listen to them call as I go up the mountain with only one question in my mind – Why am I doing this?

At the site, my supporter helps me put up the poles and wrap my prayer ties around the square. Once inside the square I cannot leave until Saturday morning when my supporter comes to pick me up except to relieve myself.

When I am left alone, I clean the earth in my square by removing stones and weeds. I lay everything out. Then I rearrange everything. The slope I am on makes it hard to lie flat without feeling like I am rolling downhill. This process takes most of the morning.

I believe I might have been eligible for the Martha Stewart of Vision Squares Award because I get several comments during the week on how “neat” my site is. But now that I’m done decorating, I am ready to go home. Gee, only 70 hours to go!

And thus begins the slow crawl of time. Vision Quest is as close to stopping time as I am ever going to get. The plot of a movie on Vision Quest would be: sit, drink water, watch insects, listen for noises, burn sage, drum, rattle, play flute, write notes, sleep. Then get up and repeat. Again and again. I watch the sun and moon move across the sky instead of having a clock.

Sitting in my square, not being allowed to leave, being very hungry, and exposed to the elements, makes me feel like a Viet Nam POW. I feel as though I am the Survivor who was voted to be left alone on the island. And sometimes I feel like Gandhi, fasting on my mat,  or like that guy in the movie “Into the Wilderness” who starved to death while watching clouds in the sky float by. Ok, enough with the Hollywood moments.

I am really sitting in a spiritual playpen. As I sit in my vision square I survey the land looking for what I need to collect when I go out to pee. I see some great pine cones and some rocks I need to augment my site.

Today I will take my first crap in the woods (and as it turns out, since I am fasting, it was the only one). The ants and flies make a bee line for it even before I can get it buried. One man’s dump is another being’s delicacy.

Tick Tock. To stay sane on this mountain I am going to have to shift from being an always doing, product oriented, Type “A” person who lives in luxury to an always being, process oriented, Type “Z” person who lives on the land.

And Z I do! I feel like doing nothing but lying around. Is it lack of food? Depression? Feeling abandoned? Tired from the lack of sleep due to anxiety? Tired from the physical work of Monday and Tuesday? I sleep most of the afternoon.

As the first day ends I wonder: What would I be doing if I weren’t here? And how much could I have accomplished if I wasn’t here? I am a LONG way from a cruise ship.

The mummy bag I bought is Claustrophobic City. There is no room to roll when its zipped up. Maybe this is what the shuttle astronauts feel like when they sleep in those bags so they don’t float around. Once I am in, I am too hot. I end up using it upside down as a blanket.

My hooded sweatshirt is the best thing I brought. It keeps the mosquitoes out of my ears. The only skin showing is my face so I wear a bandana over it all night.

My favorite lullaby is listening to the wind in the trees. Sometimes it sounds like ocean waves.

Day 5 & 6: Thu & Fri             EARTH = NURTURANCE

I made it! Through the first night! It was a lot easier than I feared. (Isn’t it always?) I thought I would hear anything approaching me. Twice my supporter got all the way up to me while I was asleep. If she had been a bear or cougar, I would have been et.

I had planned on meditating on the stars but the sky is so smoky from the nearby forest fires that there were no stars to be seen. I wanted to name some of them for special people in my life. There is also a full moon that I thought would have shown like a natural night light but it is an anemic orange ball hidden behind the smoke and never really rises above the tree line.

I have a few sips of water for breakfast. Not only am I fasting but I am getting the sugar/chocolate monkey off my back. Then I pee in one of the four directions. My plan is to do all four corners of my square to mark my territory like wolves do.

Many people say you go to the woods for peace and quiet. Not true. All the animals, insects, birds, and trees make constant noise. Instead of listening to an iPod, I am hearing Woody Woodpecker. There is one bird that sounds like a cell phone ringing. Periodically you can hear the songs, drums, and rattles of the other questers across the hills. In the great isolation we are not really alone.

I feel like a bear hibernating. In the first two days I sleep 80% of the time. I spend so many hours unconscious, leaving my body on the forest floor, I guess that I am traveling the universe, but who knows where. When I am suffering I pull into my shell like a turtle. I am a spiritual disappointment to myself. I had so many plans to meditate and journey. But I am too low on energy. Now I am broken down to a struggle to survive. How is this spiritual? It feels completely physical.

There is only one thing that raises my energy and that is when my supporter visits. How interesting that a self-professed hermit derives so much stimulation from a visitor.

I would die for a book to read. I’ve read the labels on my water bottles and all the labels in my clothes. I get out my sleeping bag. Eureka! Three whole labels on that! I do have my journal to write notes in but I find that it takes a lot of energy to do this. In fact every movement has become an effort that is undertaken in very slow motion.

I have never been so dirty in my life. There will be no shower from Monday morning until Saturday afternoon. My white socks are black now. My mucus is so dry from the smoke that it is harder than rock and I bleed if I blow my nose.

I know I can walk away at anytime, but I stay. I know I can eat at anytime, but I starve. I am thinking of the other questers, especially women, who are out here and doing it. I am thinking of one up the hill from me, who is abstaining from food and water. No, I can make it through, too.

[I found out on Saturday that a quester saw Bear the first night. Luckily when he started drumming to scare it off, it ran up the hill and not down towards me. I know I heard Bear tramping through the brush but never actually saw him. As much as I would have liked to have Bear visit me, it is probably a blessing I didn’t because it would have scared me half to death.]

The supporters aren’t on a luxury cruise either. On Thursday they sweat 7.5 hours, praying for the questers, and praying the questers’ prayers. They have tended the fire at lodge around the clock.

During the night I think I hear a mountain lion growling. It turns out to be my empty stomach rumbling. Right now the only vision I am having is a shower, a pizza, and a bed. I think of all the places I will go to eat when I get home.

Friday I feel stronger and more awake than the previous two days. I am like a dog in a cage waiting faithfully for its owner as I wait for my supporter to arrive.

The first night was not the hardest night like I thought it would be. It turns out to be the last night. I can not sleep because I have already slept too many hours plus my lower back hurts all the way to my knees. I try every position possible, even doing yoga downward dogs, but the only position that relieves the pain is standing up. So I stand up most of the night. Waiting. Tick tock.

Day 7: Sat                               AIR = NEW LIFE

I promise myself that this will be my last sweat. I can’t handle the heat. Perhaps I was burned at the stake in a past life or something. But I will gladly do igloo anytime.

After the final ceremony in sweat lodge, we break fast on sacred food of buffalo, berries, and corn. The questers serve themselves first. But no one eats until all the questers have full bowls. Even then we just stand and stare at it until the leader says “What are you waiting for?” I thought I would wolf it down but I take my time, savoring each bite. These frozen berries are like bits of heaven on the tongue!

After we break our fast, we tear down the sweat lodge. It seems so sad to burn the willow poles in our sacred fire. We tear down tents and pack vehicles so we can caravan to a bed and breakfast.

There the cosmic joke is on me. My first shower is just a trickle of moisture rolling out of the shower head. But that and clean clothes makes me feel reborn. Then it’s off to dinner in town. I eat 2 bacon cheeseburgers in the first 24 hours of return to civilization.

This evening not one person opted for the hot tub. We have had our fill of sweating in hot moist places for now. We even have a hard time getting in the soft white beds inside of four walls. We sleep with the windows wide open. But sleep, indeed, I did.

Day 8: Sun                              SPIRIT = REINTEGRATION

On Sunday morning we have our final ceremony. I feel very connected to the group. We have bonded from our experience.

My mantra during the drive home is: I did it, I really did it!”

I return with new eyes. Many things I look at and see as if for the first time. Some things I really like as they are and some I think “why is that like that?” And then I change it. I spend the week rearranging and ridding out.

Integration is like trauma recovery. I feel spaced out and out of synch with the world. I have the dropsy’s all week. The first day back to work I spill a cappuccino down the front of my shirt and then drop a container of humus in the aisle at Trader Joes.

I have exchanged the sound of bees humming for the gardener’s weed wacker and traded the Stellar jays' squawking for domestic dogs barking.

We carry spirit in side of us now. It is our task to keep spirit alive as we merge ourselves back into the world. We take our visions with us, a gift given in wilderness.

SUMMARY of QUEST

Stats: Total Days on Trip = 8

Total Fast Time = 82 hours

Total Water Consumed During Fast = 1.25 gallons

Total Time in Vision Square = 72 hours

Total Weight Loss = +6 pounds

Emotional Stages of the Week:

Mon – Ecstasy Being in nature and on the land

Tue – Anger  Why am I putting myself through this?

Wed & Thu – Lethargy  No energy from fasting

Fri – Anticipation Waiting for Saturday morning

Sat –Peace & Pride  Sad to pack and leave the land but glad the hard part is over. Pride in succeeding is overwhelming. I have faced my fears and banished them.

Sun – Deeply Connected Bonding during closing ceremonies

Sentients Encountered During Quest: Blue jays, woodpeckers, various other birds, ants, butterflies, grasshoppers, spiders, flies, bees, wasps, mosquitoes, squirrels, chipmunks, beetles, and dragonflies.

Most Awesome Sentient That Visited Other Questers: Bear, deer.

Most Dangerous Sentients Not Encountered: Cougar, rattlesnake.

Casualties of Wilderness: 1 cut in hand (from carrying wood), 2 blisters (from boots), 2 black ant bites, 2 very sore hips with lower back pain (from sleeping on the ground), and numerous mosquito bites.

The tradition says that you do not speak of the spiritual vision that occurs on the mountain for at least a year. However I will share three key learnings from my quest:

1.   I am very happy with my life as it is so I know I am on the right path and doing the right things.

2.  I do need to have more fun after this. I can do easier things because I can stop testing myself. I already passed.

3.   Community and human interaction is so very important even to a hermit.

Bottom line, was it worth it? Yes, if the only thing that happened on that mountain was me learning to face my fear, then that is reason enough to experience vision quest. This quest was a beginning and I shall continue to be a seeker to clearer visions.

THE MEDICINE WHEEL Medicine wheels, or sacred hoops, were constructed by laying stones on the ground. Most medicine wheels follow the basic pattern of having a center of stone(s), and surrounding that is an outer ring of stones with spokes, or lines of rocks radiating from the center. The medicine wheel is representative of Native American spirituality and is a physical manifestation of energy. The medicine wheel is representative of life's never ending cycle (birth, death, rebirth) and the continuously evolving new lessons. Each of the directions has its own lessons, color, and animal spirit guide. The medicine wheel also represents:

The 4 Elements: Air, Water, Fire, Earth
The 4 Directions: North, East, South, West
The 5 Directions: North, East, South, West, Center (Heart)
The 6 Directions: North, East, South, West, Sky, Earth
The 7 Directions:  North, East, South, West, Father Sky, Mother Earth, Center (Self)

MITAKUYE OYASIN (Mee-tah-koo-yay O-yah-seen) A simple but profound Lakota Sioux prayer. Mitakuye Oyasin means All My Relations or We Are All Related. It is a prayer of oneness with all forms of life including people, animals, birds, insects, trees, plants, and rocks. It reminds us that we are connected to every form of life. Everything is alive, has spirit, and therefore is a part of us. This prayer is always said when entering a sweat lodge.

SMUDGING The burning of herbs or incense for cleansing, purification, protection of physical and spiritual bodies, banishment of negative energies, and creation of sacred space. You can use smudge sticks (herbs tied into a bundle), braided herbs, or loose herbs (burned on charcoal). The most common botanicals used for smudging are: sage, sweetgrass, cedar, mugwort, or copal (a resin).

AHO! Agreed

Wild West Overview              www.thewildwest.org/interface/index.php?action=267